Sink or Swim
When I was 15, I wanted a boyfriend. Since I went to an all-girls Catholic high school, to get one was no easy feat. But I was convinced that other girls had hordes of boys calling, their only problem being the choice of whom to date on Saturday night.

I had three best friends. We called ourselves the Mafia. We hung together on the edges of the gym at the school dances, where girls outnumbered boys 4 to 1, and wondered why we rarely got asked onto the floor. Surely it was because the other girls were skinnier, had straighter hair, better teeth, cooler clothes.

The Mafia kept me sane at a school where a straight-A student could get a “C” in religion if she questioned the teachings of the church. I had to escape. My parents said yes—as long as I went to another Catholic, all-girls school run by nuns. Back then, Portland had several to choose from. So I switched schools and suddenly, the nuns didn’t seem so bad. But I was 16 by then, and nothing seemed as dark as it had at 15. And I had a boyfriend.

Throughout my teens, I swam for the NE YMCA in Hollywood. Our coach, Dick Slawson, pushed us hard. Gasping-at-the-edge-of-the-pool hard. He also taught us about commitment, values, and the importance of teamwork. He didn’t care what we looked like, what we wore or how popular we were. He cared if we showed up at practice and gave him our best. Today, Dick remains one of my role models as a world-class master’s swimmer and tennis player in his 70s.

Some of us on the team were straight-A students; others spent more time in the principal’s office. But we all knew we were part of a community. We worked hard to keep the faith and trust of the adults who cared about us. Every summer, the team went to a meet in LaGrande, where we camped and cooked out. My parents couldn’t make the trip because I had five siblings at home, so I would tag along with one family or the other. Everybody welcomed me at their campfire.

Today, I hear people say that parents need to step up, take more responsibility. As a parent of two teenagers, I do believe it takes a village. I would not be who I am today had it not been for the adults who helped me along the way—my parents, my coach, other swim team parents and yes, even the nuns.