Alexa Bukovskaya is 18 years old and attends Portland Community College.

After Completing Residential Treatment
Life is full of endings, but every ending is a new beginning. Back in October [2005] I finally got myself into treatment. I had been in outpatient, but that didn’t really cut it for me because I was much too deep in my addiction to even think about quitting. I was dependent on dope like a fish is on water. I didn’t know what life was without it. All I knew was the whole idea of sobriety, I knew the talk of it … but truth be told, I had no idea how to actually do it. I have finally come to the end of that chapter in my life and I am here before you now to give you a sneak peek into my new beginning.

Today I stand before you 47 pounds heavier, a real smile on my face and a new chance at a good life. When I first got to De Paul Treatment Centers, I was a vicious, malicious, frail tweeker with a BADDDDD attitude. I had so many problems that I didn’t want to admit to, see, or -- least of all -- talk about. With time I began to understand how to recognize and accept my past and present in a healthy safe manner. I know that being able to talk about my past and see how it connects to my life now is one of the most important tools I have gained while here at De Paul. Although I still have a hard time radically accepting some things, I always do -- so acceptance is another important tool I have mastered. The third most important tool that I have acquired here at De Paul is honesty. In my addiction, I would constantly lie just to lie. I did it because I knew I would get away with it and no one would question me, even if they didn’t believe me.

Being the dope man – well, dope woman – meant I had a grip on people’s need for drugs, so I thought I had some power that could control people. And I used my drugs to do just that. Thinking back to all that now, I feel so much remorse for all the addicts that I used for my own evil ends. I know that I did many wrongs in my addiction, so nowadays, when I become part of the community in a helpful way, it makes me feel really good.

Every Tuesday I am secretary to the Narcotics Anonymous [NA] meeting called “the nooner.” I have my own keys to the church and I have many responsibilities in NA now. I am also a mentor at James John Elementary to a 4th grade girl. I see her every Wednesday. I am also helping small non-profit organizations like Friendly House coordinate all their volunteers and to co-host large annual events like this year’s auction.
I plan on going to aftercare here at De Paul. I plan on attending meetings at the Nooner, Blackbelt, Volunteers of America, and New Attitudes. I have been to all of these meetings consistently and I plan to continue to do so. My sponsor, Charlesetta, has been really helpful in getting me to my meetings. I connect really well with her and I’m happy she’s my sponsor.

I will be going to PCC for school for at least 6 months before I start thinking about doing the foreign exchange program in Russia. I would be attending the University of Moscow.

I hope you see how much I have grown in the past 4 months … it’s been a long, hard road, but I can’t wait to keep on going down it. I want to thank everyone who helped get me here. I have a really special place in my heart for you.